Strawberry Pink Lady Apple Pie

This past SXSW festival I was determined to get out and see as many free shows as my sleep-deprived body could handle. This was the year, I told myself, to finally take part in Austin's famous, internationally-renowned event. My friend Spike and I hopped on our bikes and slowly made our way through downtown crowds, first to enjoy a light bike ride, then to hit the clubs for some shows. I found the amount of people daunting, reminding myself I hate, hate, large crowds, yet reminding myself further that I was determined to take in SXSW; Spike and I rode along. We stopped at Club DeVille and as approached the door Spike admitted, you know, I am just not feeling this. I replied, hey, want to go make some pie? And that was SXSW 2013 for me.

Single Girl Special #2: How Deep into My Fridge Can I Go?

Readers* may be familiar with my Single Girl Special, my rice/egg/ranch concoction which, despite the list of ingredients, is amazing. For years it has stood alone, in my mind being the ultimate symbol of both a sparse pantry and an all-consuming desire to eat ranch dressing. However, the time has come to create the category of Single Girl Specials. That's right, I just made it plural. Obviously, there is the essential SGS, the purpose of which is to provide a vehicle to legitimately transport ranch into my mouth, but since a glance into my fridge and pantry provides my own perverse version of Chopped (you have 11-month-old ginger jam**, stale bread, a jar of mayonnaise that seems legit, and eggs; cook!) there is the other element of an SGS which is, what the hell can I make with the ingredients available? In all honesty, the majority of these concoctions elicit nothing but shame as I choke them down, my dedication to consumption fueled by little more than frugality, laziness and a desire to remain in pajamas all day, but occasionally I mangle something together and think, holy shit, this is amazing. Yesterday was one of those days.